I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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