clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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