If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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