I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
