Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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