All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
