Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize