I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
