I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
