you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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