why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He better not be in your backpack
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
