ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
