cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
