and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
