she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When are your genitals available?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
