i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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