YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize