i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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