plz talk dirty to me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
