shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
