i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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