The maid of honor just puked.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize