its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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