i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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