Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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