That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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