Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
