Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
