I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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