Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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