This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
