I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
