Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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