I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
