I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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