my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize