I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
