just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
