Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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