I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
