i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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