i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's just like the Real World with babies
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
