You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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