Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
