do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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