you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
