I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
