3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize