Soap is not a condiment
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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