I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
