Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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