He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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