3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize