Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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