yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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