Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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  (847): i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago http://tfl.nu/60w4
  Replies (29) Good night (5349) Bad night (927)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.

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  (631): Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin (856): Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts. http://tfl.nu/olt8
  Replies (17) Good night (1455) Bad night (3317)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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  (770): He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle. http://tfl.nu/uuu6
  Replies (15) Good night (6542) Bad night (784)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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  (778): Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world' http://tfl.nu/vm9t
  Replies (8) Good night (7225) Bad night (900)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?

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  (512): do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule? http://tfl.nu/7un4
  Replies (41) Good night (6908) Bad night (693)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.

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  (813): They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century. http://tfl.nu/yuyb
  Replies (14) Good night (4081) Bad night (759)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

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  (215): the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off http://tfl.nu/gmrh
  Replies (17) Good night (5627) Bad night (1393)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...

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  (978): FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong... http://tfl.nu/4k47
  Replies (7) Good night (4019) Bad night (973)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

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  (513): I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake. http://tfl.nu/fip9
  Replies (8) Good night (4312) Bad night (1096)
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  (916): View more from California

  In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

  (1-916): View more from California

  Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

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  (916): In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room? (1-916): Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne. http://tfl.nu/vsj8
  Replies (11) Good night (5081) Bad night (855)
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  (916): View more from California

  this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

  (1-916): View more from California

  People like that make this world a better place.

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  (916): this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse (1-916): People like that make this world a better place. http://tfl.nu/pvsx
  Replies (3) Good night (1730) Bad night (566)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.

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  (772): Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hte9
  Replies (9) Good night (604) Bad night (2001)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.

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  (787): It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life. http://tfl.nu/p96v
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (307)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.

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  (941): With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting. http://tfl.nu/hc07
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (241)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times

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  (603): So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times http://tfl.nu/2gsi
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (156)

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