i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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