Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.

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  (586): just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me. http://tfl.nu/oae8
  Replies (26) Good night (8924) Bad night (928)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11771) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

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  (508): Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk http://tfl.nu/i7vt
  Replies (44) Good night (5732) Bad night (1457)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?

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  (970): You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you? http://tfl.nu/r91h
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (2707)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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  (920): She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future. http://tfl.nu/bxh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1565) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.

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  (832): Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories. http://tfl.nu/6x0g
  Replies (1) Good night (2175) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity

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  (310): you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity http://tfl.nu/374z
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!

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  (702): i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield! http://tfl.nu/o1fu
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?

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  (408): Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens? http://tfl.nu/6bgt
  Replies (5) Good night (1430) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..

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  (727): Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter.. http://tfl.nu/a2wm
  Replies (0) Good night (960) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.

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  (727): Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best. http://tfl.nu/j1qb
  Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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  (805): We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians... http://tfl.nu/wh6c
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.

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  (787): I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot. http://tfl.nu/430i
  Replies (5) Good night (1701) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.

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  (262): IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR. http://tfl.nu/it96
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.

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  (989): I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing. http://tfl.nu/dihq
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (233)

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