I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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