the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
