the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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