i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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