The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
