My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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