..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and she was petting her beer can
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
